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Alice in Disguise [userpic]

capital letters like capital cities. large and useless.

August 26th, 2008 (08:45 pm)

the lights of foreign cities glimer like stars in the sky.
tempting.
calling.
tiny diamonds glimmering on the surface of my retiners.
will it be as fantastic as in my mind,
where i am free
and in love.
with you.
with me.
with life in general
will i find all that i lust after.
i long for.
i crave.



sometimes i think staying home in my room would be better

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

goodbye ıs the hardest to say...

April 26th, 2008 (06:46 pm)
current location: Istanbul - Turkey
i feel so: remınıcant

lying on the bed from 1 tıll 8.
cryıng lıke somebody died.
ı saıd goodbye to a part of myself
that ı hadn`t known exısted.
thankyou for showıng me the beauty of lıfe.
for fındıng the beauty ın me.

ı promıse ıll see you agaın soon...

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

sometimes...

April 3rd, 2008 (10:50 pm)
i feel so: empty

Sometimes I don’t even feel worth it
Like im not much to nobody
So I cling to the little things
That make the world seem good
The sweet flower you picked me
Or the kiss on my cheek
The things that make the world seem less daunting
Less terrifying
Less alone…

But ill never not be alone will i…

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

(no subject)

April 3rd, 2008 (05:50 pm)

i went outside today
and whispered goodbye to the summer
welcoming the winter back again

i have never felt more alive!

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

Writer's Block: personality faults

February 26th, 2008 (09:58 pm)

What aspect of your personality could use a little work?
sometimes i forget to see the people around me, and i hurt the ones i care about the most. im not there for them but i expect them to be there for me, i hurt them unintentionaly then i cant understand why they are hurting me. its a cold hard slap in the face when you work out your wrong, when youve been left out because you wont let yourself be included.
i focus too much on myself and my own problems and i loose friends and their trust as a result.

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

the begining of the end...?

January 28th, 2008 (09:17 pm)
crushed

i feel so: utterly alone
im rockin to: stand still, look pretty - the wreckers

i dont believe ive ever felt this pain before...
a sad sick longing for what once was,
a despirate need to be number one,
and the relentless ache of my heart as it realises that its desires are out of the realm of possibility...

and i truely believe i will never again feel this kind of love for anyone.
he was the one.

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

conquer me

October 16th, 2007 (06:53 pm)
content

i feel so: fighting for control.& winning
im rockin to: Plain White T's

Conquer me
I’ll fight myself.
Desperate to gain control
In a situation I was lost to
Where everything I do
Is no longer about you
But about me
About me not needing you
And you’ll smile as you say goodbye
And call me back with your charming eyes
But I’ve got the heads up this time
I’m ready
I’m weary
And I’ll be fine on my own
I’ll be fine not needing you

And you’ll smile as you say goodbye
Hoping I’ll be back
Knowing I’ll be back

I always come back.

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

tired of watching you dance, wishing to be dancing with you...

October 12th, 2007 (10:24 am)
blank

i feel so: feeling like a fool, watching.
im rockin to: motion city soundtrack

she sat at the bar, staring out into the crowd, at a boy on the dancefloor who was grinding in time to the beat of the music with a girl in his arms.
"Are you with somebody" a boy sitting beside her asked.
She nodded her head towards the boy on the dancefloor.
"dont seem like he's with you at the moment."
she shrugged, never taking her eyes off the dancing boy.
'hes happy'
there was a silence as the guy beside her shifted slightly.
"but are you?"
she thought about it for a second, her heart breaking with each pulsating beat as the boy was driven further and further by the gyrating girl next to him.
'that doesnt matter...'

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

Writer's Block: Two Tickets to Paradise

October 2nd, 2007 (08:18 pm)

If you won two free round-trip plane tickets anywhere in the world, where would you go and who would you bring?
i would take my best friend. because he has the uncanny ability to be able to spend long uninterupted times with me without killing me...
because he keeps my earth spinning and my heart beating,
and it wouldn't be a trip if he wasn't with me, it would be torture...

we would go to japan, to the ski fields, because it is a passion of both ours,
because there is no place on earth like the snowies.
we would go where the world took us. because neither of us like making the final decision, and we both 'dont care'.
because as long as we had each other... life would work...

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

and the tears return...

September 26th, 2007 (11:04 pm)
discontent

i feel so: hatred towards myself for this

I’m not a selfish person. I swear. It’s just sometimes. Sometimes I’d prefer just us you know. Just you and me. It’s not that I don’t like her. She’s one of my best friends. It’s just. Some things I don’t like to share with anyone but you. Sometimes all I want is you. And to spend time with you alone. I guess it stems from the unbreakable, restricting and sometimes suffocating love I have for you. Part of me breaks when you bring other people along too. Like you can’t stand just me alone. Like I’m not everything you want.

But I guess then that I never really was all you wanted, was I…

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

you have no idea...

September 23rd, 2007 (10:49 pm)
lonely

i feel so: lonely

have you ever looked into someones eyes, and just known you cant exist without them. that they complete you entirly. and that no matter how hard you look, you will never find someone that makes you feel that again, that completeness. then, have you ever seen those eyes hate you, loath you. or let you go. ever seen those eyes break as they let you go?

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

sweetest song ive heard in a while...

September 12th, 2007 (09:03 pm)
im rockin to: sweetest thing - shane piasecki

Sometimes I am a little less of a man than I should be
but you never leave you,you never will
When I’m wrong, you love me still
Still, I say, ay, ay
Tomorrow we’ll sleep in the bed that we have made
So let’s do this the right way oh Yeah!
There ain’t no doubt, when the lights turn out
Ain’t nobody lovin better then we are right now
You’re everything, everything
And you, you’re the sweetest thing to me
And I know, you’re gold
Yea, you’re so damn precious, let’s take this nice, and slow
and Give it room to grow
‘cause you know, there ain’t no doubt, when the lights turn out
Ain’t nobody livin better then we are right now
You’re everything. Baby, everything
And you, you’re the sweetest thing
It can be so hard, just a starting girl
But look how far we’ve come, just to stop it now
You’re my queen, and I will be your king
And you, you’re the sweetest thing to me
And I know the road is long sometimes
We get turned around,flipped upside down,but the sun is gonna shine
cuz There ain’t no doubt when the lights turn out
Ain’t nobody livin better then we are right now
You’re everything, baby, everything
And you, you’re the sweetest thing
It can be so hard, just a starting girl
But look how far we’ve come just to stop there now
You’re my queen, and I will be your king
And you, you’re the sweetest thing, and you, you’re the sweetest thing
And you, you’re the sweetest thing to me
The sweetest thing to me, you’re everything to me
You’re the sweetest thing to me

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

this song makes me cry and think... a bad combination

August 22nd, 2007 (10:34 pm)
im rockin to: your guardian angel - the red jumpsuit apparatus

in a battle of head vs heart...
constantly.
never ending.
i want to let him go.
i need him to be happy.
happy like i dont make him happy.
but I need to be happy.
happy like he makes me.
Im so afraid of failing life.
of regretting things.
i dont want to let this be just one more thing i regret at the end...

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

(no subject)

August 15th, 2007 (10:31 pm)
content

i feel so: tired yet happy

and the world just stops, as your eyes flicker closed,
your soft skin under my thumb as i run my fingers through your hair,
the only one who gets away with pulling it all back off your face,
because i know you like it like that yet you wear it forward to hide behind.
and my heart stops as you look up, and into my eyes
even though i know you wont lean forward, like you used to,
to plant a kiss on my lips, i live in hope that one day you might want to again,
that one day the ring you steal from my finger to put on ur wedding finger
will sit there perminatly because of the vows we took
and my life stops as you leave as fast as you come,
a fading memory lingering in my fingers, in my bed, in my heart,
because id do anything for you, ive done everything for you
and i stop completly when you aren't araound...

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

why do all things good have to end???

July 19th, 2007 (10:30 pm)
numb

i feel so: broken...
im rockin to: witness - sarah mclachlan

ITS NOT MEANT TO BE LIKE THIS
ITS NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED AT ALL
I DONT WANNA FEEL LIKE THIS
LIKE IVE JUST LOST IT ALL!!

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

my new baby...

July 12th, 2007 (05:52 pm)
happy

i feel so: happy
im rockin to: will ande grace

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


i can only play the basic bass from Seven Nation Army, but im learning, and now im one step closer!! :D

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

i love him...

July 3rd, 2007 (01:28 pm)
content

i feel so: content
im rockin to: meet me at my window - jacks mannequin

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

this makes me smile... life is good

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

love... the craziest game of them all

June 9th, 2007 (08:36 pm)
content

i feel so: content
im rockin to: land down under - sideshow

The rain poured down on the tin roof
Thrashing at the windows and soaking the cat
But we didn’t care
The winds whipped up a storm
Creaking through the trees and snapping the branches
But we didn’t care
the darkness of day, pancakes made with love and each other
Curled up together
Warm in bed
On our lazy winters days

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

love... the craziest game of them all

June 9th, 2007 (08:36 pm)
im rockin to: land down under - sideshow

The rain poured down on the tin roof
Thrashing at the windows and soaking the cat
But we didn’t care
The winds whipped up a storm
Creaking through the trees and snapping the branches
But we didn’t care
the darkness of day, pancakes made with love and each other
Curled up together
Warm in bed
On our lazy winters days

Alice in Disguise [userpic]

(no subject)

May 29th, 2007 (09:53 pm)
frustrated

i feel so: frustrated
im rockin to: breathe - anna nullick

MATHS WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL





that is all

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